The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 480
Production Info The Check-In * Dr. Colbert is tapped out when His Jewish Friend asks him for money while he's having dinner. * Dr. Colbert asks to be removed from his list, His Jewish Friend insists on harassing him some more. Intro Good Morning America Is Pushing To Go On Notice * Dr. Colbert appeared on Good Morning America (GMA) ** it's light out at 6am * selflessly promote * A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift Of All ** A Walter Cronkite Tet Offensive * GMA went nuculer ** started with Colbert dancing then cut to a woman doing laundry *** ruining the ending ** Mrs. Cratchet washing her delicates, when Santa jumps out of the lint trap, gives everyone dryer sheets ** and sing "I'm dreaming of a white load" Newsman-a-Newsman * President-elect is meeting with his Transition team ** or Trannys * 7,000 appointments up for grabs ** only place in America that is currently hiring * The Plumb Book ** named after first Ag Sec Professor Plumb killed in Library of Congress with a candlestick * Secretary State ** highest ranking cabinet position * don't giggle when you hear the word "Djibouti" * Dr. Colbert sees himself qualified for several positions: ** Treasury ** HHS * the more time you spend on TV, the more qualified you are to lead ** Brokaw wants sec of VA * Tom Brokaw * book "Boom: Talk About The Sixties" out in paperback right now! * running for cover, not office * wants to stay a journalist ** another way to say he didn't pass the vetting process * Treasury is the most important * domestic equivalent to war ** and two foreign real wars MSG Is Good * the election may be over, but not all elections were decided * will Ted Stevens be the first felon elected to the Senate * Campbell's soup v. Progresso ** New York Times ad *** 95 soups made with MSG * Stephen's favorite soup is MSG with Stars * Campbell's counters with 125 soups with no MSG ** Stephen offers an ad idea that Bill Ayers eats Progresso * Gravyboat Veterans for Soup made an ad ** woman eats soup blindfolded and is able to identify details about individual ingredients * Stephen samples a soup and is able to identify from which factory the MSG was manufactured * heavily invested in Campbell's soup * Stephen Colbert's Easy Street Soup ** he doesn't care if it contains cream of lead-based anti-freeze *** as long as the check clears and there's MSG in it ** MSG stands for Mmm Soup Good * Progresso soup has umlates in their Alphabet soup ** and they soupboard the Campbell's kids Interview * Malcolm Gladwell * he knows why certain people become successful, Stephen does too: it's called trust funds * third time ** maybe he'll win * book: Outliers: The Story of Success * outlier ** fancy scientific term lies outside the statistical normal ** statistically off the charts * he is not an outlier * Bill Gates * The Beatles * how can we stop them ** they make us look bad * Gates was lucky ** when he's 13 years old * might have been ordained by God * the year you're born can indicate one's success * 1935 was best year of 20th century ** smallest generation * basically astrology ** high end astrology * He's a virgo ** born in 1963 * best year of human history ** 1830's: 22% of 75 richest people of all time * you don't know what an advantage is until the end of your life * buy it now, read it later Epilogue * Dr. Colbert enjoys his soup with a straw before saying good night Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments